Thursday, February 28, 2013

Tomorrow

I didn't forget to post this week.  Our brand new computer has been the "lemon" out of the group.  Thanks to Marito from technical support, its back and running for the time being.  I will try to post tomorrow.  I'm going to bed now. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Beautiful Reflection

I was reading\praying in my Magnificat book last night.  The Gospel yesterday was about Jesus preaching about when we take care of the least of his brothers, we take care of him.  The reflection was given by Servant of God Catherine de Hueck Doherty.  She was born in Russia and was the foundress of Madonna House in Combermere, Canada.  She writes,

"When I was growing up in Russia, my father was a diplomat.  One time he and my mother gave a big, fancy tea party at our home for several hundred ambassadors and dignitaries.  We were in the middle of having formal tea, with everyone using nice china and so forth.  I was about nine years old at the time, and I was allowed to be there, all dressed up and carrying little cakes and being polite.  Suddenly, the butler opened the door and announced to my father, "Christ is at the door."  Well, the French ambassador's wife dropped her expensive tea cup on the rug.  She was not used to such interruptions!

Father excused himself, mother excused herself and off they went.  And whom did they welcome? A hobo who had come to the door begging.  And what did they do? My mother and father served him themselves, even though we had fourteen servants in the house.  My mother laid out the best linen, the most expensive silver and our best china and so forth, and she served a hobo.  My father did likewise.  I saw all of this and I wanted to serve the hobo too, but mother said, 'Oh no.  You were not obedient last week; you cannot serve Christ unless you are obedient.'  So, in my little mind, to serve the poor was a great honor and a great joy.

Now that's Christianity.  You don't have to have catechism lessons when you see that sort of thing.  That was how my parents treated the poor, so that was what my brother and I learned from growing up in that kind of household , thanks be to God.

Of course, I was like any other kid too.  I would say, 'Well, do we live in a monastery or something like that?' My parents would say, 'No. We live in a family, of which Christ is the head.'  So, in the end, it all seemed quite natural to me to serve the poor.  Christ was in the poor and we must serve him."

This passage is so beautiful to me and something to strive for.  I especially love her mother's response to her when she wanted to serve.  We need more families like this in our times!!

Monday, February 11, 2013

Toddlers

Oh my.  Where to even start? Instead of trying to make up for lost ground, I think I will just start "here".  Life continues to move forward, some days fast, some days slow.  I have been enjoying, immensely, working as a teacher at an after school enrichment program, called Athenaeum. I find it is a wonderful distraction for my mind.  It helps me step out of myself, my trials, and focus on loving up other little children.  I get to utilize so many gifts and talents I have been given and have learned over the years. 

Speaking of distractions...That is a word I've been pondering much lately.  I often pray not to be distracted from God's will and goal in my life.  I see how I often am.  I also see how some "distractions" are gifts.  Some can actually benefit the soul, I think.  It is just imperative to be aware of which ones do and which ones don't.  I also cannot help but compare myself to my two year old daughter.  I'm so much more delightful to my own self when I make such a comparison.  Often, I point my finger at myself, scolding all the things that distracted me, the temptations I gave into, the thoughts that seemed to seep through my brain to initiate a behavior.  I get angry at my short-comings and failures.  The old "I should know better" not to do\think\say something.  Then I think of Gia.  I think of how I am like my little toddler.  I see how she is always trying to accomplish great things in her world.  She thinks she's a "big girl".  And God forbid anyone tells her different! I see her intently try to cut paper with scissors (children scissors - of course). She wants to sleep in a big girl bed and must brush her teeth and open yogurt on her own.  Her mother appears to simply be a bonus to her life that she so well deserves.  How do I see myself in her?  First of all, I see how easily I am distracted by not so important things - demands of the every day, health, beauty, people, chores, the must-haves, and the must-dos.  My focus on heaven can easily be tilted when "life happens".  I see how I think my soul is a "big girl."  I am constantly beating myself up because when I fall short I think "HOW COULD YOU? YOU KNOW BETTER."  It is when I hear this phrase in my mind said, that I think of how much I rely on my "big girl" self.  How if I tried to look through the Father's eyes, just as I look at Gia, instead I would see myself as a little toddler, a little soul.  That no matter how much I know or have learned, my sinful humanity is still very much present in my life.  And focusing too much on our failures also can be used as a distraction from our Destination.

I somehow must believe the Father can look upon me with such loving eyes as I do on Gia.  That her "big girl" attempts are actually so endearing to me.  They please me and actually bring me delight.  I know who she is. Her big struts and sentences make me love her more.  Because in the midst of them, she knows her mama is right beside her, ready to hug her after each hurt, make her every meal, teach her ways of love, and lay next to her every night.  I see the little soul in her trying so hard to be big.  And it doesn't take a fit or fall to remind me of how little she is, I don't ever forget.  However, it takes those fits and falls, to remind herself.  And that's how I see myself in her. My Father never forgets my littleness, even when I do.  I am thankful for those falls and fits to remind me of my place in His Plan.  I am so thankful to be small enough for His hands.  It is my pride that doesn't fit.  Thank God!  God is restoring much in me.  He is taking me some place new.  All for the Glory! Amen.      

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Hello Again

If anyone is interested....I will be posting again.  All these transitions are settling down.  We are very peaceful and hopeful where God has taken us and is taking us.  I think I mentioned I started working as a teacher in an after school program.  It's been wonderful for me!  I working with the children and loving them up. I go in to the school in the afternoon while Phillip takes over with Johnny and Gia.  It's a gift to us both.  I get out of the home and Phillip gets to spend a few extra moments with the John and Gia while they are this precious age.  We had a wonderful St. Stella's Feast Day celebration on the 30th.  We lived it up that day.  After we went to Mass, there was Eucharistic Adoration.  I was overwhelmed with this gratitude to God.  I felt so grateful for the gift Phillip and I have been able to offer Him.  What a gift, our own daughter!  It was such a beautiful moment for me.  I hope to write of new ways and our continued restoration, as every day we are being made new in Him.  Praise be to God forever!  He is so good to me and ever so PATIENT.  This is my quick hello back.  I continue to pray for each of you.  Life is good because God is EVERYTHING.  Peace be with each of you this night.