I had a dream Friday night. Granted, there was of course some strange aspects of it, just like any dream. But it still has caused me to ponder it. Mother Mary was in my presence. I couldn't see her in my dream, but I knew she was there. The next thing I knew, I was in a huge conference room with a crowd of people. We had to watch on a gigantic movie screen, Christ's Crucifixion. I don't think I saw any specifics of it, but I know I was watching it. After it was over, everyone was just talking a having a good time. As if they hadn't even seen what we all just saw. I, however, had marks on me of the Crucifixion. I wasn't in pain, but my lower body, mainly legs and feet were in bad shape. Then I just heard our Lady say to me, "If only you could accept the suffering my Son did for you."
Those words ring in my head. Over and over I hear them. If only...what? If only I could, then maybe more peace would be mine. If I could, then there would be NOTHING to worry about. Well, Lord, I'm working on it. The accepting, I mean. It's different than accepting my own cross, my own suffering. To accept what Jesus did for ME, that is so much to take in. To accept that love, personally, that's hard. I can accept easier my own pain. I'm human, we love focusing on our pain. But how do I hold with GRATITUDE a high price paid for ME? An undeserving mess of a soul? Only through heaven's help, I am sure. Much to dwell upone this week. How do I accept it better? Once I figure that out, I guess it will just be practice.