I remember somebody telling me one of those "analogy stories" about a lost sheep sometime during the last year. They told me how when a shepherd loses a mother sheep, he immediately finds her baby in the flock and throws the small lamb over his shoulders. He then proceeds to search for the mother sheep. He knows the mother will respond immediately to her babe's call. I remember in some way feeling a little offended by this analogy. My over sensitive self felt a little wounded, thinking, "What are you trying to say? I'm lost and God had to take my daughter to make me come to Him?" Here I am sitting and writing and I found comfort now in this story. I see myself tonight, for who and what I am - a sinner, in desperate need of her Savior. I know there's a great purpose in this path of suffering for myself, my family, and many others. The Salvation story continues through each of us if we are willing.
However, I see myself and think how I've grown in my journey with our Creator but how very far I still have to go. And whether it is the way I would choose or not, I do feel like that mother sheep. Where my child is, I want to be. I desire to respond even harder, faster, and quicker to the call of hers I here. Stella being with Him has yanked my wandering eyes into better view - Heaven's view. I falter too much, but pressing forward is not an option. I wrote on Stella's Feast Day about my name and it's meaning. Tonight, I was reading "Queen of the Cosmos" a book of interviews of the visionaries from Medjugorije by Janice Connell. Vicka, one of the visionaries was talking about God's plan and how we are all part of it. How He called and knew us all by name before the world was made. He loved us and knew each of our purpose. He gave our parents the grace to name us what He had already named us. She continued to talk about how there are no coincidences and she even broke down the name meanings of all the visionaries and how they coincide with their role in the appartions and their role on earth. So just as I type this I think of how I just wrote about my name meaning, the story of the mother sheep and lamb came to me, and now I think of Stella's name meaning - star. What are stars noted for in history? Guidance. So yes, my star, my Stella, from the beginning was meant to guide her mother and I'm sure many others to our Heavenly Home, Home meaning Him. Stella continues to shine brightly drawing attention to God and His ways, which will never pass away. UGH! But I want to be and do so much better! I truly have mountains of self-love to climn over so that I can stand on the summit and see the Valley of Beauty I know I was made to be a part of.