I remember as a child how drawn my heart was to Mary, the Mother of God. I remember asking my mom around the age of 4 or 5 to teach me to pray the rosary. I remember in first grade we had to learn and recite a prayer called "Lovely Lady Dressed in Blue". I remember the prayer was on this small holy card. She was so beautiful. I remember examining and studying the picture so carefully. The words touched my little soul. I can still remember the prayer pretty well even from first grade! They talked about Mary holding Jesus as a baby and what she may have done with him - sing to him, hold him on her lap, whisper things of heaven to him, listen for the sound of angels' wings, etc. Somehow the grace of those words captured me as a 6\7 year old child. I think she was starting at a young age to call me to her tender heart, as a mother does to a child. She knew the way to her Son, the way to heaven for me would be sharing her heart. Jesus asked John while He hung on the Cross, He asks us to behold His mother. He asked His Mother to behold John, her "new" son. She takes us all in as her children, Judeo-Christian or not. What does it mean for us to behold her? To behold means "to comprehend, to look upon, gaze at, used for the purpose of calling attention, to see or observe a thing or person especially a remarkable or impressive one". Christ instructed us to do this with His Mother - to look upon her, gaze, study her, to comprehend and understand her, to observe a remarkable soul, for she is used for the purpose to call our attention to her Son, to heaven.
In this road my Father has called our family on, as the mother and heart of my home, our Mother's heart has been imperative for me to behold as we both have been asked to carry the cross of the death of a child. I have mentioned in past posts sharing this with her, learning from her, beholding her on this similar path. Although I share this suffering of the heart with her, I also get to share in a New Advent. I share in a new way a part of HER Advent as we are all called to share the arrival of her Beloved Son, our Messiah, our Savior, our King of Souls. So yes, this Advent is new without Stella, I also get to share in a new way with the Mother of God, awaiting the coming of Christ, the one who brings hope to the earth and freedom in the souls and minds of humankind, who choose His path. So what does this new waiting mean for me this Advent season? I'm not sure. I walk it with trust, grace expectation, and even days of joy. I want my heart to be a ready stable for my humble King. My mother helps me prepare it, just as she prepared for Jesus' birth. I come to her and ask. I sit with her in silence and read her words. Besides the graces and joys of this Holy Season, I wait with great anticipation of a grand and special Christmas gift from Jesus, upon His arrival! As you should too. I look forward to sharing it with all of heaven and you.
"...Those that follow the ways of the world forget to listen for my voice in their adulation and self-esteem. My heart weeps for the sorrow my children heap upon themselves. Please listen for my voice. I have much to tell you. I am Queen of Angels. I am the Mother of God's children. ALlow me to carry you in my heart to the Prince of Peace, the Lord of Lords, the Alpha and the Omega. Peace, little children. Only peace." (Part of prologue a quote from an apparition in "Queen of Angels - Janice Connell).
Let Mary carry you this Advent to the destination she promises!