How does one come to terms with such a drastic and quick change of course? It's as if someone cut off my leg and then demands "WALK! WALK!" Impossible it seems. But then I look at us and see that it is not. St. Faustina writes, "When I see that the burden is beyond my strength. I do not consider or analyze it or probe into it, I run like a child to the Heart of Jesus and say only one word to Him: 'You can do all things.' And then I keep silent because I know that Jesus Himself will intervene in the matter, and as for me, instead of tormenting myself, I use that time to love Him." Faustina reiterates one of the messages of the Gospels, that God can do ALL things and that NOTHING is impossible for Him. I see this to be true because I live it. For walking with a severed limb is impossible. That is why my Jesus stoops down from His mighty thrown in heaven and the moment my eyes open upon the morning light, His arms are already under my weak, handicapped self, ready to carry me to fulfill and perform the duties he has before me that day.
I have brought this very question up to Phillip and have asked, "How did our whole life change in a second?" Phillip's response was lovely. He always seems to have a wise answer for every question I pose. He said, "Life is full of such fast changes. It's just the difficult ones we dwell on more." He continued on and said, "I can think of plenty of other moments my life changed in an instant that I am so thankful for." I, the spouse that tends to lean towards the "cup half empty" responded, "Like what?" He comes in close and puts his arms around me, "Like...the second time I saw you. Or...the moment we were married. And the moment we found out we were pregnant with each of our children, and of course the moment they were all born. See, we've had lots of life-changing moments that have blessed us in abundance." He leans in even closer, "And do you know what Francesca? This one will too." I looked at him with a smile of peace and gratitude.
I thought of all Phillip said and pondered it. I thought of another moment that was the most significant life changing experience. The moment Jesus completed His Passion. I have fallen into the temptation of throwing myself in the multitude of souls He saved by His death and resurrection. It was at times hard for me to truly believe that Jesus personally and solely went through the Cross for ME. A few years ago, I read some words that silenced such thoughts. The words are this -
"Consider how important each soul is to Me. Consider Me, Jesus, in the form of my humanity. As I suffered anguish in the Garden, I was tempted with every form of temptation. Let us say that the enemy offered Me every soul on earth, but one. For stepping away from the chance of saving this one soul, I could escape the cross. Add to the consideration that this one soul might reject Me and be lost anyway. Would I be tempted? Would you?
Now consider that this one soul was yours. What do you think I would say? I assure you, My beloved, I said NO. Do not hold back from Me, little servants. Do not sidestep the Divine Will. Your family needs you and I need you."
Whether one believes Jesus himself said that, makes no difference. For those words are simply another layer of the Truth given to us through the Holy Scriptures. The greatest moment in all of history from the eyes of man appeared like the greatest defeat. How important it is to try to view EVERYTHING through the eyes of heaven. For on that day of Christ's death, while those on earth cried in agony, Heaven exploded with cries of victory, because death no longer had any power over us, the inheritors of the God Father.
So Phillip is right. For even though our lives did change in a moment, through the illumination of God, it does not have to be a moment of defeat, but of victory. I write these words not with real understanding, but with deep faith. I write them with hope and what I KNOW to be true. I write them because I CHOOSE Love. Furthermore, I know the Love that I have chosen DOES DO ALL THINGS and NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR LOVE.
Again, onward we go, one day further from my tragedy, one day closer to heaven.